So the second half of the trip has hit us and with it has come the dread of returning back to everyday life. Living in the moment is important and we do it most of the time but it’s hard to ignore the faint calling of reality and it has led us into a desperate state where we spend hours racking our brains trying to figure out anything we could do to avoid returning to a normal 9-5 job. This topic has gone from being discussed every other week to every other day. We have thought of everything – starting a dog grooming business (even though we can’t groom dogs), selling our own jewellery (even though we can’t make jewellery) opening up our own hostel (even though the last time we ran one of those it went tits up). Then there are the inventions, like iPad holders for children on shopping trolleys (surely every parent wants to do their shopping in peace?) or the ‘Tour Guide Sat-Nav’ – a sat-nav that tells you information about all the points of interests as you drive past them. Then there are the missed opportunities, like when we are sat in airports and the kids go rolling past us on their Trunkies… We should have invented those. Or like when we watch fellow travellers collect their rucksacks that also have wheels… We should have invented those. Or when we rest our heads on our travel pillows, sit on fold up chairs that turn into bags and receive yet another annoying notification on Facebook inviting us to play Candy Crush… We should have invented all of those. Still, we have a few more weeks to keep trying!

Anyway… After almost four months in Asia we were about to touch down in Sydney. We had spent hours on Agoda searching for some kind of affordable accommodation, trying to escape paying £30 each to share a room with 15 other people in bunk beds, until Genius Jen finally found a private room with an en suite for just £35! Too good to be true? Yeah, it was, because we arrived there after a $100 taxi ride from Sydney Airport to find ourselves in a small town about 90 minutes away from the city centre – great! So our five days in Australia all started and ended with a very long train journey.

Our first trip was to the Blue Mountains, a National Park in west Sydney which boasts huge rock formations, cliffs, nature trails and waterfalls. We had planned to get here early so we could spend a full day with a picnic and take a ride on the cable cars (including the steepest cable car in the world). Unfortunately however, we ended up sleeping through our alarm and it then took an unexpected 4 hours to get there from our little town miles away so by the time we arrived it was late afternoon and we had 45 minutes to run around all four cable cars before they closed. Luckily after we’d managed to do this we just about made it to Echo Point for sunset and views of the impressive Three Sister rock formations. This is also where we ate our picnic consisting of two baguettes, a tub of Philadelphia and a pot of cherry tomatoes, although we hadn’t planned on the weather being so cold as we sat eating and shivering on a bench like Mr Bean realising that we had definitely acclimatised to the 35 degree heat of Asia. Still, we had a great day (or few hours) at the Blue Mountains and the views here were amazing! We used the next few days in Sydney to visit the main city sites – the Opera House, Harbour Bridge, Darling Harbour and we also took a boat out to Manly Beach. Unfortunately we didn’t have much more time here as it was only a quick stop-off and it was soon time to head to New Zealand to start our road trip!

After landing in Christchurch at midnight our excitement was on hold for 8 hours as we couldn’t afford to stay in a nearby hotel, we weren’t due to pick up our pre-booked camper van until 8:30am and we had a very long night ahead of us on the airport floor. We also had to spend the night dodging the airport security guard who persisted in telling us to sit on seats every time he found us lying in a new spot trying to sleep. At 3am we thought we had won this battle when we discovered a perfect resting place behind a children’s Claw machine in the airport arcade. We climbed through and made ourselves a little den with our bags, travel pillows, towels etc. and we lodged ourselves in between a pile of Minions and a Slot machine. We were ahead of the game for about 30 minutes until we were rudely awoken with a final warning from security, so the rest of the night was spent sat on metal seats, day dreaming into space, trying to ignore our numb bums.

Five hours later and it was finally sunrise and time to collect our camper van. We left the airport looking like death warmed up after 0 hours sleep and 30 minutes later we were given the keys to what looked like a HGV lorry. Holy shit. We now had to drive this thing around the country. We spent the next 15 minutes sat in the front seats staring gormlessly out of the windscreen trying to come to terms with what we had signed up to do. In fact, if you were to weigh up all the risks involved in two people travelling the world with limited common sense, this task potentially posed the most risks. Not the plane that we were sat on that nearly dropped out of the sky, not the tuck tuck rides around India swerving in and out of oncoming traffic, not jumping the 35ft drop down Kawasan falls in the Philippines that gave Jen a fractured nose, not even riding mopeds in Bali without knowing what side of the road we should have been driving on. Driving this huge four berth camper van/motor home around the narrow winding roads of New Zealand after having driven a Fiesta and Toyota Aygo for the last five years could possibly be the most hazardous task on the trip so far.

Luckily, once we had built up the courage to start the ignition we managed to make our way to the nearest freedom camp zone where we slept for the night before waking up cold and hungry with only shorts and t-shirts in our rucksacks. So, by lunch time on day two we were raiding the local charity shops for second hand body warmers and fur coats and by dinner time we were gallivanting around the local supermarkets buying all the food we had missed out on over the last four months. It wasn’t until evening when we considered it a smart idea to actually plan our road trip. We’d had this booked for almost 18 months and the night before we were about to hit the road we were sat in a nearby pub buying pints of coke in exchange for free wifi and had exactly two hours to plan our entire 3 week itinerary before it closed. This was a very stressful challenge and it wasn’t until the twelfth attempt when we had a rough plan in place – which of course changed anyway on an almost daily basis!

By day three we were officially on our way, in the middle of nowhere, driving for hours along the country roads with no one but our Satnav Simon. The adventure had begun! By day four our HGV lorry (now named Victor) had practically turned into a Formula One car as we sped along the country roads with the windows down and our music blasting while overtaking our fellow middle aged campers… forgetting that we were actually dragging our kitchen, living room and bathroom along with us as they all rattled in the back. These moments were short lived however as it wasn’t long before we were sat sweating at the wheel again trying to park the three ton vehicle in a public car park while the local men watched in horror and needless to say, reversing was a bitch. We also narrowly missed taking the roof clean off before slamming on the breaks in front of a bridge after spotting the height warning at the last minute. Oh, and then there was the time when we parked on a grass verge at the top of a cliff but didn’t realise that the grass was wet so spent the next half an hour revving and wheel spinning in the same spot while skidding from side to side as a group of young female travellers watched in horror from their small self contained cars.

Anyway, narrowly escaping death we continued to travel in style and headed as far south as we could, passing the stunning Lake Tekapo and Lake Pukaki along the way before finally making it to Curio Bay (west of the Catlins). This coastal area is situated at the most southern point of the South Island and luckily we timed it right and arrived there at low tide so we were able to see the Petrified Forest (one of the world’s finest fossil forests). This area is also home to a variety of wildlife and as well as being lucky enough to see Hector Dolphins we spent the evening sat on the beach meters away from the rarest penguins in the world (yellow-eyed penguins) which was amazing! Over the next two weeks we sailed through the sublime Milford Sound, flew high in helicopters over Mount Cook and the Twin Glaciers, kayaked around the beautiful Abel Tasman and got our adrenaline fix Luging and White-Water Rafting in Queenstown.

And then we did the unexpected but totally inevitable…

We got a tattoo. (Sorry to our mums, please don’t worry we won’t be coming home with big tramp stamps or sleeves) but yes, we now have travel tatts on our ankles. Will we regret it in ten years? Probably in two. But for now it’s our new favourite thing, there’s also a story behind it but we will save that for another time.

So we continued to drive our 20ft vehicle around all inked up and if anyone would like a glimpse of us, here you go…

After all the excitement in the south we headed to the North Island to explore the active volcanic geothermal wonderland of Rotorua. This town is filled with natural hot pools, mud pools and hot springs and you can watch the geysers erupting throughout the day and visit the Maori villages to watch their traditional dances. We also visited the amazing glow worm caves in Waitomo before heading to see the The Hobbit film set in Matamata. Despite the fact that we aren’t huge fans of the films (i.e. have never even seen them) this is still a beautiful set and interesting to see how it was built and how the films were made. By this point we were also pro campers – sleeping in random car parks and fields, sponging off the free wifi from nearby shops and cafes and dodging the dreaded parking and speeding fines! Cooking our own meals in the van had started off as a luxury but of course the novelty quickly wore off and it became a regular fight over who’s turn it was to think up and create the next dish. Then there was the dreaded dumping stations – yep, you guessed it, emptying our waste every two-three days down designated holes in the ground. This was probably one of the most disgusting things we have ever had to do and waking up at 8am to put gloves on and pour your own shit down a hole is one thing we will never miss!

While on the North Island we managed to fit in a trip to Hot Water Beach, on the east coast of the Coromandel Peninsular. As we were unable to afford a spa day in the hot springs of Rotorua, we’d heard that you could dig your own natural spa pool in the sand at this beach as hot water escapes from two underground fissures as a result of the geothermal activity. When we arrived we found many people relaxing in their hand made pools by the sea and as we eagerly approached them it suddenly dawned upon us that we didn’t have any digging tools or money to rent a spade from the nearby cafe. We then noticed that the hot water could only be found in defined areas on the beach so as we watched everyone dig deep with their spades into steaming hot water, Jen and I spent most of the morning weaving in and out of everyone else’s pools, kneeling in the sand, using our bare hands to dig up holes only to find freezing cold water at the bottom. It wasn’t until about an hour later when a nice couple took pity on us and gave us their hot pool before leaving so I suppose we didn’t technically dig our own – but we tried and we got one in the end! We then spent the rest of the morning relaxing and watching the tide come in… Ahhh lush.

There really are few words that can be used to describe New Zealand that do it justice. The views throughout this remote country are so surreal, driving through stretches of the most stunning scenery you could imagine. We had the most amazing few weeks exploring this incredible place before it was time to return good old Victor and say farewell to life on the road. This road trip was definitely one of the main highlights of the trip so far and there was never a dull moment! For anyone considering visiting NZ it’s a must but make sure you rent the biggest camper van you can find for the best laughs!

Next it was back to the sun sea and sand as we flew to our next destination – Hawaii! The tentative plan was to fly into Oahu and then do some island hopping via the local ferries to Big Island and Maui. Unfortunately however, last minute research revealed that all the ferry services stopped in 2009 so we were basically about to become stranded on Oahu island for 10 days. After hearing mixed reviews about Hawaii we weren’t overly excited by this; but as soon as we stepped foot in Honolulu we were IN LOVE and it was about to become one of our favourite places. We spent our days in the hustle and bustle of Waikiki, beach hopping along the famous North Shore and cycling in the wilderness of Kailua. In fact our bikes soon became our pride and joy as we relentlessly cycled around the island, strapping them to the front of buses and tearing through forests like scenes from E.T.

Of course no trip to Hawaii would be complete without a surf lesson. Although we were sceptical at first, we eventually signed up, grabbed our surf boards and strode on in with our instructor. Taking to the waves like naturals (well, almost) it wasn’t long before we were stood up gliding across the sea with our arms out and the wind in our hair! Shocked and overly excited by our new found talent we rushed to the next beach a few days later to rent our own boards and headed out to sea on our own like pros. As we paddled away in front of crowds of sunbathers we had envisioned us both catching waves in the distance as cool as cucumber. Unfortunately however we hadn’t anticipated the power of the ocean and in reality it was a very different image as we lay face down on our boards flailing our arms around, pulling our wedgies out every two minutes and trying to stand with our arses in the air before belly flopping into the water. We must have repeated this process for about an hour before two men came out to warn us that we were being swept further out as the current was getting stronger. It then took an hour and a half for us to panic-paddle back to shore as we lay choking on the salt water adamant that we were going get stranded and eaten by sharks. When we finally did reach the shore we were practically swept up onto the sand, our wet hair stuck to our faces and we couldn’t even carry our surfboards back to the rental company because of the cramp in both our arms. Moral of the story – always take a second surf lesson.

Once we had just about recovered from this near death experience we returned to our boogie boarding and rubber rings and spent the rest of our time bobbing up and down on the gentle waves by the sand! We also tried paddle boarding but we didn’t have much luck with that either. So, our final days in paradise were spent getting free ukulele lessons and eating lots of frozen yoghurt, ice cream and shave ice before we begrudgingly made our way back to the airport with heavy hearts!

Devastatingly another month has passed us by and it’s time to move on to the final stretch of the trip. Australia was short but sweet, we surprisingly survived the adventurous road trip around New Zealand and we now want to live in Hawaii forever! For now though it’s time to get back to planning a future business while we hit LA, Mexico and Central America… Here goes! ❤️

Jen and Rach xxx