We have reached the half way point! Over three months in and we can hardly remember life as we knew it. We are officially trapped in the ‘Travel Bubble’. Our biggest decisions of the day are whether to lie by the beach or take a boat out to sea, whether to order rice for dinner or noodles and whether to down a watermelon juice or go all out and get a strawberry milkshake. Our daily chores now consist of cramming our lives into our forever growing rucksacks as we move from place to place and washing our laundry in sinks and showers has become totally normal, as has fighting over the best sunny spots outside to let them dry. Knowing what day of the week it is has suddenly become impossible and our only way of keeping track of the dates is by keeping in mind what flights we are due to catch. Planes are now like hopping on buses, except scarier but with a few more perks as we get to frantically run around airports spraying ourselves with perfume and reminiscing on the times we used to smell nice and feel clean. Getting ‘dressed up’ consists of straightening our fringes whilst fanning ourselves to avoid over heating and putting on mascara and a dress. Just these small steps leave us feeling like the paparazzi will be waiting for us outside as we get ready to walk the red carpet. Then of course we walk outside and our hair explodes in the humidity, our faces sweat off and we revert to stealing the toilet roll from restaurants just in case our next accommodation expects us to drip dry! And this is our life right now.

So, after all the excitement in Hong Kong and the Philippines we were ready to hit Malaysia for our work exchange programme. 40 degrees, no shade, no breeze with 20 kilos on our backs. This was how we arrived in Ipoh. Standard. Although it doesn’t get any easier, especially when you have to wander the streets for almost an hour trying to find your destination. Our destination was the Bed and Bike Backpackers Studio – AKA our workplace for the next 10 days. We had signed up to a programme to work, as advertised, for 5 hours per day in exchange for free accommodation. When we finally arrived we were greeted by another volunteer, a cold glass of water and a set of keys to be told that we would be running the hostel full time as the owners were in China. Within hours, Jen and I were suddenly in charge of someone’s business. Madness. We had also suddenly become part of a sketch show. One that went something like this…

DAY 1

[First guests arrive – a British couple]

Jen: “Oh hello, welcome! How are you?”
Guests: “Hi yeah good thanks, you?”
Jen: “Yeah good thanks, where are you both from?”
Guests: “Derby, what about you?”
Jen: “Ah that’s nice, we’re from England.”

[Awkward silence]

[Jen spots Rach laughing in the corner]

Jen “OMG. ARE THEY FROM ENGLAND?!? I KNEW THEY SOUNDED BRITISH!”

[Jen goes straight onto Google to look at the world map]

[Phone rings]

Rach: “Hello? Erm, sorry I mean hello Backpacker and Bike studio? And Beds?”

Jen: “God it’s so hot in here, Rach. I’m sure that air-con isn’t working properly.”

Guests: “Do you know where the Temple Caves are?”

Jen and Rach: “No sorry we’ve only just arrived here we don’t know anything!”

[Guests look confused]

[Jen and Rach escape for dinner and find a nice Indian restaurant round the corner]

DAY 2

Guests: “Erm, excuse me, is there any bread for the breakfast?”

Jen: “Oh yeah, er, we need to get some I’ll just nip to the shop, hang on!”

Rach: “We need water too Jen!”

[Jen runs to the shop]

[Phone rings]

[Air-con system breaks and starts leaking in the front room]

[Jen comes back from the shop with jam, marmalade and water]

Rach: “Where’s the bread, Jen?”

Jen: “Oh shit. I forgot.”

[Rach runs to the shop to get bread]

[Guests arrive]

Jen: “Hello! Welcome to Bed and Bicycles Studio! I mean Backpacker and Bicycles… I mean, yeah, welcome to the Studio. My names Jenny and that’s Rachael, if you need anything at all just ask us, but we probably won’t know the answer.”

[Guests look confused]

[Jen and Rach place bucket under leaking air con system]

Guests: “Do you guys know anywhere good to eat around here?”

Jen and Rach: “There’s a really nice Indian restaurant around the corner!”

Guests: “Would you like to join us?”

Jen and Rach: “Ah yeah ok that would be nice!”

[Girls get taken for another Indian]

DAY 3

[Bucket under the leaking air con system is almost overflowing]

Jen: “Oh Rach that buckets nearly overflowing we should probably empty it outside”

Rach: “Oh yeah, ok.”

[Girls attempt to carry the bucket outside in front of guests while they eat breakfast]

Jen: “Have you got it, Rach?”

Rach: “Yeah, it’s heavy though.”

[Half the water spills on the floor]

[Guests watch in silence]

[Girls return with empty bucket]

Jen: “What’s that dripping noise?”

Rach: “O-oh, it’s is dripping all over the floor because we took the bucket away!”

[Girls clean another puddle of water up under the air-con system]

[Guests sit and stare in silence]

Guests: “Do you guys know anywhere good to eat around here?”

Jen and Rach: “There’s a really nice Indian restaurant around the corner!”

Guests: “Would you like to join us?”

Jen and Rach (too polite to say no): “Ah yeah ok that would be nice!”

[Girls get taken for their third Indian in a row]

DAY 4

[Girls finish all their chores]

[All guests are out for the first time ever]

[Girls sit down with a nice cheese wrap and put a DVD on. Seconds later new guests arrive.]

Jen and Rach: “FFS! I just want 5 minutes peace!”

“Hello! Welcome to the Studio…!”

[Workmen arrive to fix air-con]

[Workmen put duck tape around leaking pipe in air-con system and leave]

Guests: “Do you guys know anywhere good to eat around here?”

Jen and Rach: “There’s a really nice Indian restaurant around the corner!”

Guests: “Would you like to join us?”

Jen and Rach (too polite to say no): “Ah yeah ok that would be nice!”

[Girls get taken for their fourth Indian in a row]

[Duck tape comes off and the air-con system is leaking again. Girls clean up another puddle of water and put the bucket back]

DAY 5

[Jen and Rach wake up after 3 hours sleep after sleeping in what felt like a sauna]

[More guests complain about the heat]

Guests: “Do you guys know anywhere good to eat around here?”

Jen and Rach: “Hmm no we’re not sure, sorry we only arrived yesterday!”

Rach: “I need a break from welcoming guests.”

Jen: “Me too.”

[New guests arrive]

Jen and Rach: “Hello, welcome!”

[New guests go out for the evening]

[Jen and Rach lock up and go to bed]

DAY 6

[Phone rings at 6:30am]

Rach: “Hello?”

Guests: “Hello, finally you’ve answered the phone… we are lock outside…”

Rach: “Sorry, what?”

Guests: “We are locked out. We have been out here all night. Can you please let us in?!”

Rach: “Oh my God. Ok. Hang on.”

[wakes Jen up]

“Jen there’s guests downstairs locked outside!”

Jen: “What!?”

[holy shit]

DAY 10

Jen and Rach: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TFMpySg_UrM

This was, without exaggeration, how our 10 day work exchange programme went. Or should we say our 10 day Business Management course – which I’m sure we failed. Yes, we did lock two guests out for the night, yes we did go to the same Indian restaurant for 4 days in a row where we ate Butter Chicken and Garlic Naan in the 40 degree heat, and yes we did (even on day 10) repeatedly tell guests that we “had only just arrived in Ipoh” as we had no idea how to direct them to any of the tourist attractions. With a broken air-con system during a Malaysian heat wave, the average temperature of the hostel must have been around 28 degrees and our only escape was to sneak off to the Shopping Mall once a day for some ice cream and a moan before returning to run what quite literally had become the new Fawlty Towers. So, although we would love to say that we travelled through Malaysia immersing ourselves in the culture, the truth is we didn’t see much more than Ipoh. Still, even if we were given the choice all over again we would probably still sacrifice 10 days of sight seeing for all the fun and laughs we had running the Bed and Bike Backpacker Studio! On the whole we met some great people and hopefully some friends for life. Plus, where else would we both manage to make headline news on the way to McDonalds?…

http://ipoh.guide/culture-showcase-peoples-park-hit/

Eventually it was time to head to Singapore for more shopping, sights and food! Nicknamed ‘Fine City’ and known for being one of the strictest states in the world, our first law breaking experience took place on the metro when Jen almost downed a bottle of ice cold Apple Juice in the station as she stood in front of a “no food or drink” sign, listening to the tannoy announcement warning people of the $500 Fine. One very dehydrated and distressed Jenny was then left gasping while sat on 30 minute train journey on a rant about how stupid it is that people can’t even have a drink in this heat, because what if people were diabetic or were about to pass out, as she could have been and was probably about to! Still, even with all its rules and regulations we had so much fun in Singapore. It’s a really cool modern city with a blend of Malay, Chinese, Arab and Indian culture and our days were spent hanging out in China Town, touring Arab Street and feeling nostalgic in Little India.

On our final night we decided to treat ourselves at Marina Bay Sands which is supposed to be one of the most luxurious hotels in Singapore. Obviously we could never afford to stay there but we knew we could go to the top to check out the infinity pool and SkyPark with its panoramic views of the city. We decided to go for sunset, so spent the day at the Botanic Gardens before heading there with our rucksacks, flip flops, overly worn clothes and shades when suddenly we spotted a sign which read “Dress Code – Smart Casual”. Choosing to ignore this we made it to the lift without being stopped by security and suddenly we were 57 floors up stranded amongst the wealthy, the stylish and the high-class. All suited and booted and dressed up to the nines flashing their cash, the two of us just sat there watching like shabby dogs in the corner. We only had a choice of 3 tables to sit at because we weren’t members, we couldn’t use the pool because we weren’t guests and we couldn’t go to the bar because we couldn’t even afford a drink. After about 20 minutes sat wondering what to do next we spent the next ten minutes pissing everyone off by weaving in and out of their tables trying to get some good pictures of the view before deciding that of course we had as much right to be there as everyone else, even if we were sweaty with no makeup and big hair. So, ignoring the dirty looks being thrown our way we ordered a burger each and a bottle of £4 water. We then grabbed our empty purses and headed back down to earth with a smile and a little wave goodbye. Back in the lift we decided that we wanted to see what the actual hotel was like, so we impulsively jumped out onto the 42nd floor for a snoop. We’re not sure what we were expecting but obviously it was just corridors and hotel room doors. Once we had satisfied our curiosity we returned to the lifts, when suddenly it dawned on us that we wouldn’t be able to get down because we didn’t have a room key. Oh yeah. And you need a room key to work the lift. Ah. And all the lifts were now empty. Ah, shit. So we were officially trapped on the 42nd floor of the Marina Bay Sands Hotel for the next 25 minutes. Just when we thought we might have to spend the night there, the lift opened with a couple inside and we casually entered, pretending to be in a deep conversation as though we had just left our room and were heading out for a bite to eat. Of course unbeknown to them we were actually heading to the metro to return to our bunk beds in our shared dormitory!

After saying farewell to another great city, we were soon lost in the remarkably beautiful scenery of Bali. After a couple of days in Tannah Lot visiting the Pura Temple we found ourselves in the heart of the spiritual and majestic hub that is Ubud. As fans of Eat Pray Love, we had pictured ourselves cycling through the town like Julia Roberts, waking up each morning and beginning the day with a spot of yoga, getting palm readings from the famous local Medicine Man, Ketut Liyer, and endlessly soul-searching. Unfortunately we couldn’t hire bikes because the roads are too chaotic and it’s far too hot, after hours of research and asking around we finally found Ketut Liyer’s house for a palm reading only to be told that he now has dementia, and we attempted yoga but spent the whole 90 minutes trying not to burst with laughter while losing our balance and being told to “lock our anuses.” Just when we thought things couldn’t get any worse we were made to lie on our backs with our palms in the air meditating to the Balinese version of ‘My Heart Will Go On.’ Enough said. We later took a painting class expecting to learn about the local art and culture but instead we were handed a blank canvas and told to paint whatever we wanted for two hours. I painted a Willow tree and a sunset which turned out looking like a green wig in a forest fire and Jen painted a flower with a very friendly bee. Both paintings could definitely be hung up in a reception class’ art display. Despite this, with its rich culture, incomparable beauty and very cheap accommodation Bali had us hooked and we did feel like we had been on some sort of retreat as we left our dormitories behind and lived it up in an en suit deluxe room with a private pool!

Next it was time to head for the ocean air again as we made our way to the Gili Islands, off the North West coast of Lombok. The three small Islands (Air, Meno and Trawangan) are known for their laid back atmosphere and idyllic beaches. We spent most of our time on Gili Air which is the most mellow of the three, filled with beachside bars, cafes and plenty of local reggae music. We spent our time lying on the beach soaking it all in while admiring the backdrop of incredible mountains offering one of the best sunsets we’ve seen yet. Motor vehicles are banned on the Island to avoid pollution so the only modes of transport are bicycles or the good old horse and cart – which proved to be a lot of fun! We also headed to Gili Meno and managed to swim with wild turtles which was finally ticked off our bucket list and was an unforgettable experience! (This was also probably the first group tour that hasn’t gone terribly wrong for us).

Ok, so we can finally confirm that we have indeed had our very first tiff. Some may say that we’ve done well to last this long – being together 24/7 along with sleep deprivation, dehydration and PMT whilst avoiding any verbal or physical fights. However, our harmonious friendship was soon to be challenged on a hot summers day on the Island when we returned to our room to find a giant spider on the wall…

“Oh no Jen, look!”

“Oh shit!”

“Oh nooo… What we gonna do?”

“Omg, I dunno, we need to get rid of it!!”

“”I know but how? I can’t touch it! We don’t have a Hoover or a glass, we’ll have to kill it?”

“I know but I can’t, Rach. You can if you want, but I can’t I feel bad.”

“I’m scared though what if I miss and it runs?”

“Just try.”

[Tries throwing a sandal five times and misses.]

“Jen I can’t do it! You’ll have to try!”

“No Rach I can’t, I can’t kill things!”

“You kill enough Mosquitos! You splat them every day!?”

“Yeah but they’re the exception cos they can kill us.”

“That spider could kill us! You can’t pick and choose… life is life… now I have to be the murderer. I don’t want to be a murderer either!”

“No I can’t, Rach.”

[Throws sandal another two times, misses, spider scurries further up the wall… Both girls scream]

“Jen please try?! I can’t do it.”

“No go on just try again, you’re doing well give it one more go…”

“But why can’t you try? It’s the same thing. You’re stood next to me and you’re allowing me to kill it and you’re not doing anything to stop me so that makes you a murderer anyway! It’s joint enterprise! It’s like you telling me to go and kill a man on the street and watching me do it!”

“I’d rather you did that!”

“FFS.”

… And so on.

It may not sound like a big deal, but it left us both lying on the bed in silence for about 15 minutes refusing to look at one another until we ended up apologising, laughing hysterically and killing the spider… Together. Of course after a few cocktails on the beach this was long forgotten and it wasn’t long until we had both became part of a local band, performing on the bongos and teaching our new found local friends/band mates English nursery rhymes and the never ending card game – Snap! So to Ali, Robbie (Williams) and Duplis – thank you for a great time in Gili and keep in touch!

Our final days in Indonesia have been spent on the Nusa Islands, off the South East coast of Bali. We reached Lembongan Island by speed boat and inevitably set out on a mission to find a moped to rent for the next two days. Of course we have done this before in Koh Lanta so we had it all under control! Well, we did until Jen set off on a test run up the hill, slowed down too much at the top, lost her balance and toppled over before a crowd of local women scurried over to her aid. We then found out that we couldn’t rent helmets and when we brought up the safety implications of this the locals just laughed in our faces. So, we reluctantly set off on our two seater ped with Jen taking control at the front and me clinging on for dear life at the back. It was probably 5 minutes into the drive when we realised that we didn’t even know which side of the road we were supposed to be driving on (apologies to our mums – you can pretend you never read that!). Still, with the wind in our hair our panic soon transformed into utter joy as we sped along the winding roads singing a variety of 90’s classics at the top of our voices – FREEDOM! We also enjoyed spending the afternoon kayaking through the Mangroves for some wildlife spotting; although it wasn’t long before we lost track of time, noticed that the tide had gone out which left us stuck in our kayak, lodged in the sand before having to spend the next hour ankle-deep in water dragging it back to shore. Finally, of course no trip to the Nusa Islands would be complete without a spot of snorkelling and this is the best snorkelling we’ve ever done! There is so much marine life to see and it’s a must do for anyone heading here!

Sadly, as we sit in Denpasar Airport smelling of the full range of Marc Jacobs perfume and hunting for free drinks, we say our goodbyes to Asia. Almost four months spent in this amazing continent has given us the most incredible experiences, best laughs and a whole load of unforgettable memories – Asia, you’ve been a dream! ❤️❤️❤️ Now it’s time for the next chapter as we head to the land down under before starting our NZ road trip!

Jen and Rach xxx